Philosophy, Mechanism Or Rule-Based Approach, My Own Way.

I wouldn't even want to study philosophy at this time, because it is a hinderance to my own unique reading in this spiritual endeavour. I don't want to be polluted with any bias or pre-constructed ideas from other philosophers. I am in a sense a philosopher myself, one going unmistakably through a (seemingly) advanced and permanent kundalini awakening process, at least I have had no signs of this energy going back into dormancy. I am secretly a P.G.Krishna poster-child and mayhaps even a Nietzsche one. Lately I have met a small hinderance in regards to expressing my thoughts in written form, a combination of k developing a mental daze whilst sitting for prolonged periods in front of the computer and a lack of ability to bring up the usual vocabulary and progressively develop it. My language is very advanced in emotions thus there is an urging need to testament them. My language is a combination of autodidacticism and healing laze, my reading is not affected by any other than the possible perception my extraordinary process might give, and whether it's a non-understood process, I am in a constant chemical flux, therefore I have submit only to the dynamic flux and therefore not constructed rule-based mechanisms of approach in my life. It is very hard to be definitive whilst going through a process that is yet unknown in definition, only that it is the spiritual joker that pulls the very strings of my trans-rationality. One result here is the occasional submergence into the mystical ocean of creation, and that creative ocean then polish the mind in an intensity such as the sea-waves grinding the edge of a rock, any misshapenness is molded into a design that even a sculpturer would admire.