Thursday, July 30, 2009

Kundalini, The Nervous System, And Chakra Over-Activation

This raw source of electricity is enough to light up the backyard in a rural district. That being said, the vehicle of such an amount of increased energy is bound to have their nervous system go haywire, often creating more a natural reaction of disturbance and acute introspection than awe and wonder. Once you have become accustomed with being a psychenaut, having accepted and opened yourself to exploring other realms of existence and these varying extreme states of consciousness that follows a genuine awakening, rather than worrying about psychosis, you become a time- and space traveller. Everything is going so quickly and there is definitely no stopping up to think, there is only the infinite and the 'now'. The intuition is truly the only security one has in such an unfortunate awakening process.

I became a psychenaut after it happened... changing quickly. Only faith in myself and my ability to recuperate somehow.. some day.. gave me strength to endure and still enduring. I was simply not prepared mentally and also my personality is melancholic/phlegmatic and I had alot of unresolved karma (blocks), so had lots of traumas already, kundalini enhanced my suffering to a great extent that I thought was unbearable to endure, but I made it through hell and everything's better than being down there, in the bottom of the gutter of panic anxiety and depression. Good thing I recuperated quickly and somehow got back up.What kundalini does is activate your chakras to.. let's say 200- 400%, so if a normal very healthy perfectly working body/mind has all the chakras active at 100%, that person is most likely a very happy and stable person, and lives at the peak of egoic whims. Kundalini temporarily over-activates the nervous system and the chakra vortexes and so your chakras might activate to the maximum cutting edge of what your nervous system can handle, to as much as 400%. At that stage you are unable to think, even breathe, but at 200% and 300% you are in great suffering because you cannot utilise your self and adapt to the normal society, nor do most things other than sit still and focus on one-pointedness of mind, or rather 'meld into the object of concentration'. You are in a state of complete samadhi where your personality, (sense of identity) is not present, you are just pure awareness and you will not be able to work in the usual way because your supra-conscious and cosmic consciousness works in a much different manner than your normal waking consciousness. It will dispell the ignorance of your mind very quickly and prejudices and you have to be that 'one', witnessing your own disappearing into some inner void or space and you get this mental claustrophobia as a cause of the intensified purification. A spark of pranotthana or kundalini-energy isn't the same as kundalini-awakening - now that very source called the kundalini-serpent has began to ascend upwards to meet it's male counterpart Shiva to unite, when it happens, a state of complete non-dualism happens, a state of one'ness. It would be completely blissful if it happened very slowly, but unfortunately that isn't always controllable, nor the case..

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Swimming Upstream, Riding Down the Stream, Popping Up From The Surface-Water Like A Cork

The blog title is likened to the Japanese saying; "To swim upstream", just a bit modified here, but meaning the same thing. Whatever endevours in life we partake in, there is always a path we walk into, and some of them are easier to traverse than others. When swimming upstream you undertake a difficult path, sometimes it is undesired to take such an arduous path, whether it is a marathon or a psycheneurotic inner cosmic adventure - and sometimes this very path is the only one left, or it seems to haunt you anyway, finding back to you no matter how much you try to avoid your inevitable journey.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Kundalini And Depersonalisation

I have wondered why so many strange 'unnecessary' symptoms occur during an awakening process such as in kundalini growth. It is almost a bit of a shame that one feels detached from physical existense and its attachments, including the simplicity of life. Before all of this I still had more sensations of both pleasure and pain, happiness and peace than I have now. It is obviously a very difficult disciplination going on while an intelligent source of energy begins a full, ongoing internal vacuum-cleaning process. There are so many ways to drift for the mind, so many pitfalls unless you can stay within the contemplative silence of the spinning tornado. Whenever you reach outside you enter a stormful atmosphere of desperately clinging onto some sort of demonstrative attempt of controlling the strings. It is rather us as the witness and as consciousness who must adapt to the voidy atmosphere and the mental freedom that is sometimes without boundaries. When feeling spaced out becomes your bread and butter every day imagination comes as a vital survival tactic. But as said, the freedom can make you scared by your own ability to conjure endless 'patterns and strings'.