The Ever So Unpredictable Occurrences Of Text: Holding On To Something, Fear Of Integration, No More Certainty. Anguish

Monday, March 1, 2010

Holding On To Something, Fear Of Integration, No More Certainty. Anguish - In The Purgatory.

I manage to hold onto something within me, I fear for my integration, of not being certain, I surrender what I can give up, I don't know what else to do at this time. I am being tormented by waves of fear and feelings of hopelessness, by the uncertainty of this whole existence, this unreality of mine everything, even myself, whilst being myself.. I ponder hereby how I came to be in this situation, but I cannot remember much... - I don't want to remember.. I am young, I don't understand what a normal life is anymore, at least not in this mess I have gotten myself into. Do I really deserve this? I deserve only the best. There is much anguish - in the purgatory.

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Raja Yoga > Ashtanga Vinyasa Yoga

Yoga Sutras of Patañjali.

Yama (moral codes)
Niyama (self-purification and study)
Asana (posture)
Pranayama (breath control)
Pratyahara (sense control)
Dharana (concentration)
Dhyana (meditation)
Samadhi (contemplation)

Wikipedia description, (more in-depth) of the Yoga Sutras of Patañjali.

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(If anyone here are very interested in Yoga and would like some Yoga videos or some spiritual guidance, feel free contact me on my e-mail noted above).

(..And I'll see what I can do for you. Yoga -can- and -will- change your life).

(Also, I enjoy helping people in various ways for free ofc. - as a selfless duty, as a source of knowledge, and as a pin pointer to those who are inspired to indulge, and learn, and expand their horizon into the spiritual aspect and awareness of life).

Description regarding the image above

The above variant of Yoga bases its fundamental values in doing everything wrong, and getting a knee-injury as swift as possible. Apparently I am the only practitioner, strangely enough!..

(This is such a long time ago.. still it's my favourite image of a beginner's idiotic and ignorant (like i was!) approach to back-breaker pretzel-type Yoga styles. You'd probably get knee-injury if you attempted to sit in half or full lotus if you're not flexible enough and try too hard. Indeed, knees are WAY too easy to fuck up. This suits as a warning and a reminder of how fragile the body is, that is why Ahimsa (non-violence) is so important in physical Yoga, and how you treat yourself mentally, and what you intoxicate your mind with of negative thinking-patterns. If you're of the destructive type, or was, like I was before I got proper into my Yoga practice, you know what I'm talking about, and how it affects your mental health. In my opinion even physical Yoga is more mental than you could imagine at first, but in the beginning you don't know so much about the patterns of the mind and how it affects your physical practice and quality. That is why you should begin Yoga at a center, retreat, or shala with good recommendations because there are some inexperienced, and sloppy teachers out there.)