Special Grace.

all i want is to retreat back into bed,

staying there with all my demons,

to be able to suffer in contempt,

and allow everything to come up,

i am in such a sensitive state,

if any one should intrude on me,

i might become hostile,

just leave me the heck alone,

here comes another dark night,

until dusk i stay -

awake -

my faith -

i'm losing it -

my mind -

seems too far out there,

to ever be able to,

descend back into place,

my senses so..

fragmented,

how can this mess,

of shattered glass,

ever be glued back,

how can i ever be a sturdy mind,

after years of inner turmoil and ramble,

..when i have lost that special grace,

that gave me faith in the first place