Chamomile Tea And One Piece.

Ego-Death Vs. True Death.

the most honorable death is

to die in meditation

if this jedi-force allows me to do so

it is my free will to do so

it is better to die in meditation

if the opportunity bids itself

which it so rarely does

than live a life of

a so-called hyper-religious paranoid

in a more or less enlightened state

much more honorable

to just die with the help of this transcendence state

i dont need to prove anything

i certainly don't expect to ever be understood

in this life

and i might as well die in a complete state of

meditative self-absorbation

because this energy can absorb my very life

and possibly kill me if i decide to die

in complete stillness

the greatest

the most honorable death

Lukewarm Date.

lukewarm date

coincidence

boring sod date

might as well called my ex. for some friday night candy

better than that lukewarm date

Long Journey Traveler.

an old journey,

long journey traveler,

back in town,

on a short visit,

into the pulsating town-life,

he strays from one place to the other,

he is not of this world,

doesn't fit in,

with the others,

he's a traveler,

of the lonesome road,

to nowhere

Brooding Rage.

i feel sick

and

i am suffering

i am not satisfied

and i have this brooding rage

i just want to smash something

so that i can say

that was my doing

the day of my terrible rage

i hate this living

i am sick

and tired of this shit

just want to not exist

anymore

this process i go through

that i am told

i need to shut up about

and suppress

is penetrating my daily life

and i am screaming and sobbing through the day

like the screeching on stressed railroads

this day is just another traumatic day

in my life of endless nightmares

of

untold suffering

The One Who Pays The Toll, Choose To Dwell In The Shadow.

the nightmare revisited,

the inevitability of occasional insanity,

the inevitable journey i must undertake,

continues,

through psychological upheaval,

throughout the tunnel,

i come out,

on the other side,

into the mystical realm,

higher up,

i am going,

this eve,

'tis the will of something,

greater than my self,

my sanity at least,

for that reason i choose

to suffer silently,

to release myself from earth-felt ground,

to go into beta-testing,

the grim reaper,

claims a certain fee,

and the one who pays the toll,

surrender,

and choose to dwell in the shadow dusk,

even on the brightest day,

Cogito Ergo Sum, Without A Firm Grip, To The Caduceus Staff.

cogito ergo sum,

on a stick,

the dough is sour,

the plane lifts off, into cosmos - and beyond,

my mind expanding,

that aerie feel,

standing on a grand balcony,

surrender,

what view

i dare say,

..but i dare not think,

when speared,

by the mystical caduceus staff

i die into oblivion,

somehow still blinking,

torturous,

magickal,

wonder and awe, every time,

i do not cease to exist,

still blinking,

and the afternoon became a dark night,

in the empty pool,

'tis just another limbo,

wonder and awe,

and dread,

why can't i use the staff,

as a walking stave,

without a firm grip, i can never be steady

while in the abyss

no matter how many a times,

i swirl into dimensional timelessness,

always a waking nightmare,

'tis dangerous to walk on unsteady ground,

on quicksand and mound

without a firm grip,

around the caduceus staff,

but i do not own it,

somehow it owns me,

in a sense that i have to surrender my consciouness,

to ride through the otherwise forbidden gate,

on the stormy waves,

in search of the hidden